Wondering who I am? Don’t worry, I’d want to know all about me as well. Not because I think I’m something special (mostly just because I am a little bit of nosey with a dash of pretentious). Either way, whatever your reason for landing yourself on this page, let me fill you in.
30 years old with four children (three boys and one girl) I’ve been with my husband for 10 years, married for 7. We met in Indianapolis, which is where three out of the four of our children were born. Then one day in 2016 (shortly after New Year’s) I decided I wanted to move. Yep, you heard that right, I decided I wanted to uproot my entire family, our jobs, our home, literally everything and move somewhere that we basically knew no-one. Why? I was unhappy.
It took me 5 years to figure it out, and even at this point I still didn’t quite understand, what I did know was that I needed to try something new. After having kids I put my dreams on hold. I became a full on mother. Everything, and I do mean everything, was about my children. I was determined to be the best mother I could possible be. I can laugh at myself now, but this was a very tiring time for me. I had lost my identity and wasn’t sure how to get it back.
I became a mother. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a mother, it was a title I hold near and dear to my heart. The issue was, I left everything else. I was no longer Jazmyne, the fashion lover, Jazmyne the spontaneous fun loving girl everyone loved, I was Jazmyne the mother solely. Now you may say well you can be a mother and all of those things too. Yeah, I know that now. Hindsight is always 20/20. So moving to California is apart of this major plan for me to win my life back basically, even if that meant “ruining” what my family had known their whole lives.
Selfish much? Yeah I know, thats what I think and one of the reason it took me over a year to finally get the courage to even mention it to my husband. A year of debating, a year of praying and a year of second guessing my love for my children. Then finally, it hit me. I was so unhappy I was already ruining my family. so moving half way across the continent couldn’t make it any worse. Matter of fact, the hope was that it would make it better.
So here I am 2 years later, happier and healthier than I ever was. Ive experienced things I would of never had a chance to and I’ve tested myself in ways I never thought imaginable. But most importantly I learned something, that old saying is true, happy wife happy life.
And that’s me. A thirty year old momma figuring out what the true meaning of motherhood is one day at a time. Raising her four brown babies as best she can to be loving, caring and overall great members of society who aren’t afraid to take risk and jump of the cliff because the only place you can go is up.