I’m a 33 year old mother of five. That’s Karson, Kinley, Karter, Koehn and Kaleb (four boys and one girl). I’ve been with my husband for 12 years, married for 10. We met in Indianapolis, IN which is where most of our children were born. Then one day in 2016 (shortly after the New Year) I decided I wanted to move. I wanted to uproot my entire family, our jobs, our home, literally everything and just move. Where? California, somewhere we basically knew no one. Why? Because I was unhappy and desperately searching for a reason to live.
Yes I had my children and I loved them beyond comprehension but when dealing with PPD (I didn’t realize at the time that’s what was going on) the thoughts consume you. The negative takes over and it becomes all you can hear. Each day it gets louder and louder until everything else gets drowned out. So moving to California was my way of fighting back. It took me 5 years to figure that out, and Im still happy I did it.
I needed to try something new. I needed to go all in and do motherhood my way. Surrounded by “loving” friends and family I often felt judged, shamed and like everyone but me was dictating my motherhood. What others thought was always right. What they said I did, or at least tried my best to do anyway. What I saw on social media, I copied. I spent the first years of my motherhood journey miserable, self conscious and afraid to be the mother I wanted to be. Living in the shadows of other’s thoughts and opinions. This move is lit a flame in me. We were on our own. No more random visit from grandma to tell me how messy my house was. No more disapproving looks from siblings when my child cried “too” much. I was finally free. As scary as it was I embraced this journey and was finally able to own my motherhood. Becoming the mother I had always dreamt of.
hey girl, i'm Jazmyne
fun facts about me
Can’t Live Without:
God, family, phone (in that order lol)
Best Advice Ever Received:
Lower Your Expectations
Best Advice To New Moms:
Trust your gut
Must Have Mom Gear:
Lalabubaby Kerri for baby wearing
Describe Yourself in One Word:
Making everyone feel welcomed
Hey girl hey
if no one's told you this today
you're rocking mommyhood
There is no perfect mother. I’m sure you’ve heard that a lot, but do you actually believe it? Or are you still bashing yourself for not getting it all right? Because none of us get it all right, ever. It took me years to fully understand that and even longer to accept it and be okay with it. Motherhood isn’t some competition to raise the best kids. It’s also not some showcase of who can have the best behaved children who eat only organic and know how to read at nine months. Those things are literally impossible, and I hate how society makes us feel like failure for not being able to meet such ridiculous expectations.
So if you haven’t yet gotten to the point of letting go of all those unrealistic goals know that when you finally do it will be so freeing. The morning you wake up and realize you aren’t concerned about what your mother in law, sister, or “best friend” thinks of your mothering will be one of the best days of your life. It will be the day you take back your motherhood and own it like the awesome momma you are!
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