Have you ever had an idea in your head all mapped out. Knowing exactly how it was going to go. And then it went nothing like you thought it would? Like at all. Well, that’s how this move was for us.
Now obviously I did not expect things to be perfect but I did have some expectations and to say those weren’t meant in the slightest would be an understatement. I think the hardest thing about our move was having faith. I prayed for months about moving my family across country. Each and every time I heard God’s voice loud and clear “Just get there and I’ll handle the rest.” But what did the rest look like?
We moved to one of the costliest states to live in with no job, no home and literally $1,000 to our names. We had no car (it was being shipped and would take 6 days to get to us) and the few people we did know weren’t exactly the most helpful. It was more like when you have an idea and all your friends are like, yeah do that. I got your back. And then you actually do and they have thousand excuses why they can’t help you? That.
The hope we had was being crushed and our faith tested at every corner. There were nights where my kids ate and I didn’t. Nights that we slept on friend’s floors. Days we walked for hours with three kids just trying to get some help. When our car finally did arrive, we had a tough decision to make. Get rid of all our stuff or leave the vehicle.
I look back on that moment now and realize it was one of those defining moments. One of the ones that goes on to shape the rest of your life. There was so much stuff, baggage, that I had held onto. Trying to bring it with me to my new life. God kept telling me I needed to let it go. But I didn’t want to listen and honestly I wasn’t quite sure what He meant.
When that moment came. To throw away every single thing we had ever owed. Everything our kids ever owed. It broke me. It hurt my inside. I know it was just stuff, and now I feel silly for ever feeling that way. Yet in that moment, I cried. I mourned the lost of clothes, toys and memories from a life I was trying to leave.
In my earlier years we were always moving. Constantly. Never in the same place for long. We were never able to keep our stuff. It was always one reason or another and we’d end up having to get rid of everything. So for me, in that moment, it brought back a lot of forgotten emotions. I knew needed to move on. To start fresh, but it was extremely hard.
California was my new home. My new start, and God showed me better then He could have ever told me. The journey to where we are today hasn’t been easy. We’ve sacrificed time, money, and in some cases relationships. We’ve grown along the way though. Our faith in God has also. The Futrell’s that stepped off the plane at LAX on July 7, 2016 have long disappeared and I couldn’t be happier.
Chasing your dreams isn’t for the faint of heart, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. I knew I didn’t want to live with regret of what could of been for the rest of my life, and I hope you won’t either.