Before having my own vow renewal I never understood why people renew their vows, but now it makes complete sense. Outside of the fact that it’s a great excuse to have an amazing party with your closest friends. It can also serve to celebrate who you and your partner are in this season of your lives.
There are numerous reasons why you may be thinking (or not thinking) of renewing your vows, maybe you are recommitting after overcoming a major challenge. Or there could be a big milestone approaching that you’re looking to celebrate. To me, there’s no wrong reason to recommit your marriage, only lots of right ones.
What Is a Vow Renewal?
Before I go into why you should start planning your renewal of vows immediately, let’s define what a vow renewal ceremony actually is. To put it simply, it is a reaffirmation of your commitment to each other. A way to revisit the promises you once made. Think of it like, taking the intent of your original wedding and updating it to reflect who and where you are now.
How Common Are Vow Renewals and What’s the Point of Them?
They’ve actually become increasingly popular over the last few years. With society putting more and more emphasis on showing someone how much you love them in the moment, as opposed to at their funeral (“giving them their flowers”) couples are using their wedding vow renewal ceremony to do just that. And I am here for it!
5 Popular Reasons People Choose to Renew Their Vows
While I personally do not think you need a reason to celebrate true love surrounded by family and friends, here are the five most popular ones:
1. You Have More Money Now and Can Throw the Wedding of Your Dreams
One of the reasons couples renew their vows is so they can have the actual wedding of their dreams. With time often comes wisdom and a better financial picture. No need to have parents chip in this time around, you two have got things covered. Which also means, you get to dictate just what you want. It’s truly your day, no family drama included.
2. You Want to Honor a Milestone Anniversary in a Big Way
You two have been married for a while now. Made it through some really hard times and came out on top. Let’s face it, in this generation, that’s a big deal.Whether it’s a tenth, twentieth or even fiftieth, reaching a special anniversary deserves celebration. If this is your reason, adding an engraving on your wedding rings can be a special way to commemorate this milestone anniversary.
3. You Want to Celebrate with Your Children
Originally your closest friends and family came together to celebrate the union of two. And with love, perseverance and a little fun you’ve made some beautiful mini me’s who I am sure would love to be a part of all the things.
Planning a wedding renewal is the perfect way to celebrate the family you two have made together. Getting them involved can be so much fun. Maybe they’re your best man or maid of honor. And exchanging vows that include their names will surely make their faces light up. It can also be a great way for them to see just how special marriage can truly be. Like the saying goes “You can’t be what you’ve never seen before.”
4. You Need a Fresh Start After a Rough Patch
Unfortunately, this is something I wish wasn’t a reason. Solely because I, myself know all too well the hurt / pain that can come from an affair. But if you’re like me and believe in second chances then this is as good a reason as any to start your planning.
And honestly a rough patch doesn’t have to mean an affair. It could be that you two felt like you’d grown apart but are recommitting to what your relationship once was. Sometimes grand romantic gestures are just what we need when conflict and disconnection has been the norm in our marriage. Another reason could be that communication hasn’t been the best but you’ve since seen a couples counselor and are wanting to be more intentional with each other. Whatever it is, having an intimate (or not) ceremony to reclaim what was once lost can be a beautiful expression of love.
5. You Want to Make a Grand Romantic Gesture
Nothing says I love you like a surprise vow renewal in an exotic location hint hint wink wink. No, but seriously. Do you really need a reason to show your spouse how much you love them? Love, true love, that stands the test of time is so fleeting these days. If you have it, celebrate it.
6. BONUS: It’s a mix of all of these
For us, there were a number of reasons that led us to renew our vows. Outside of not being able to have the wedding I dreamed of as a kid. Being six months pregnant will do that to you. We also really needed a fresh start. After months of couples counseling, deciding we were giving each other a “do-over”, forgetting about the past and moving forward, it only felt right to celebrate all the work we’d done with the ceremony of our dreams. Well mostly my dreams, lol. My husband was just happy to see me happy. Which was even better because it meant less arguments and more me getting what I wanted.
How Soon Can You Renew Your Wedding Vows?
There’s really no right or wrong time for when couples renew their vows. To me, any time is a good time. I’d say instead of focusing on the when, think of the why. Why do you want to renew your vows? And if it’s a good enough reason for you, than its a good enough reason. I know some say a milestone anniversary is best, but even then people will have things to say. I mean, we did ours at our 10 year anniversary and some said we should have waited. Something about 10 years is not that long. Which I completely disagree with. I actually have a post all about wedding vow renewal ideas for your 10 year anniversary. Again, because “I” thought it was a great time. Instead of focusing on the when or what others have to say, focus on your why. I mean it’s the reason you got married to begin with, right. To focus on the two of you only.
Is 5 Years Too Soon?
We waited until our ten year anniversary to celebrate, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Whether you’ve been married for five years or five decades, it’s never too late (or early) for a vow renewal. As I stated above, it’s more about the why than the amount of time. If at your five year milestone wedding anniversary renewing your promises to each other feels right, then do it. Love is a beautiful thing and deserves to be celebrated, but especially love that’s stood the test of time. I know for us the first few years of marriage were hard. Harder than we expected, honestly. So no, I say five year or even at one year. If you made it through, celebrate that!
Does a Vow Renewal Have to Be on Your Anniversary?
It’s your day. No, it doesn’t have to be on your anniversary. I mean what happens if your anniversary is on a Tuesday? It’s about what you two have accomplished as a couple more than anything else. All those other details don’t really matter.
So…Is a Vow Renewal Worth It? It Was for Me
A vow renewal isn’t for everyone, but for some, it can be a wonderful celebration. If you’re on the fence about throwing a vow renewal, don’t be. No matter what your reason, whether it’s wanting to get the kids involved, finally having the wedding you always wanted, or a combination of a couple of things, my advice is, and will always be, to do it!